A Progressive Husband

I must admit that there is a part of the traditional family get-togethers that can get under my skin... the gender roles. In day to day life, Deepal's family does not seem to follow any stereotypical gender roles, but get everyone together for something like the wedding invitation ceremony and there are clear gender roles. Namely, all the women tend to congregate in the kitchen to prepare the food. The men arrive, sit in the living room, and never move from there. The men sit on couches and chairs, the women sit on the floor. And especially as a new Indian wife, people are watching me to see how well I fit in and 'perform' as an Indian wife. Deepal, however, is very aware of how this grates on me, and he is actually very supportive and helpful. There is a small duty that is mine as the youngest and newest daughter, which is to bring all new arriving guests a glass of water, this includes men and women alike. I'm also expected to help clear away the glasses, serve the food, and generally be helpful in the kitchen and whatnot. It's my contrary nature that makes this grate on me. I would do it much more naturally if it weren't expected of me because I'm woman. And, right now, I'm the least helpful person in the kitchen. Even serving water can be confusing: am I supposed to wait and take the glass when they finish? Do they re-use their glass and keep it? Ok, I'm supposed to take it away. Should I wash it right away because we'll need to use it again later, or do we wait til the end of the evening? I washed immediately because it didn't seem like we had very many glasses, but then Ma said I should have waited. Through all of this, Deepal actually helped me serve the water and collect glasses. He was the only male to come into the kitchen and help out. The other men even teased him for helping out, but he didn't care. His willingness to break the stereotypes for me really made me feel loved and cared for. And I was much more willing to play the role of Indian housewife.