Wedding Ceremony: Post Procession

This was one of my favorite moments during the wedding. All of this happened just inside the doors of the hall before the ceremony with the priest. And this was all a complete surprise to me. No one mentioned that we were going to do anything like this before the wedding. 

Here Mummy G has come to get me from inside the hall. She's taking me to meet Deepal at the door. But no, there's no surprise for him in the way I look. Not like a western wedding. Deepal was there when I was picking my wedding saree out and he also saw me before the procession started when we took photographs together. I'm glad we took those pictures before the ceremony, though, because afterwards my eyes were all red and small from all the smoke from the fire. ouch.

 Next, we were both given garlands of flowers and we were supposed to put them around each others' necks. P.S. those garlands are pretty heavy. To make it fun, though, each family picks up the bride and groom to make it more difficult to put the garlands on. The idea, I think, is not to give away your son/daughter so easily.

 Here is Deepal being lifted by all his cousins. I am being lifted too, but my family was not as practiced at the procedure so I am considerably lower than he is.

Hehehe, here is my first attempt to get the garland on Deepal, but if you notice how narrow the loop is, then you can imagine what happened: I just smacked him in the face with the garland.. hehehe

Second try, I got closer but still lacked height. It was less of a direct smack to the face. :)

Third time was the charm, but Deepal had already learned to keep his eyes closed while I tried.. :) hehe

Afterwards, the photographer had us stage this photograph. I don't know why. Me smacking Deepal in the face with the garland seems romantic enough to me. ;)

Then it was my turn to be lifted up. This time my family got the hang of it much better, and I had considerable more height. Getting the garland on Deepal would have been much easier from this height. Well, it's not like we had a chance to practice lifting me up while in full ceremonial saree gear. ;)  Deepal is in the process of being lifted up, too.. perhaps he's getting goosed. ;)

Deepal had no trouble getting the garland on me. hmph. Probably because he has long monkey arms. ;)

Then we all entered the hall together to sit at the altar and begin the official wedding ceremony with the priest.

Wedding Ceremony: Procession

    The wedding ceremony traditionally begins with a procession of the groom and his family from wherever they are staying to the marriage hall where the bride and her family are staying. This leads to loud parades on the city streets that often block traffic. But I'm pretty sure they have to have a permit from the city before they start dancing their way through the neighborhood. We had a mini-procession for our wedding because I only had 5 people from my family that were able to attend. This meant that we all stayed in the same location instead of two separate halls, and therefore, Deepal's family processed from the parking lot of the hall to the front entrance. hehe.

     I didn't get to watch any of these proceedings actually because I was supposed to wait in the hall for Deepal to come. So, I get to see these pictures just like you do, without much context. :) 

To start things off, Deepal's mother embraces him, gives him a tikka, and apparently a golden "egg:"
  

Then it's the long walk from the parking lot to the front entrance with much singing and general rejoicing. There's supposed to be dancing, too, but I didn't see any evidence of dancing in the pictures:

Traditionally, the groom is supposed to ride a white horse in the procession. But under the circumstances it didn't make sense. ;)










After about a minute of walking the procession arrives at the front entrance where all of my family is standing and waiting to receive them:

I know what you're thinking: "What a large brown family you have!" Very generously and kindly many of Deepal's family's friends stayed behind to represent my family so that a large happy group would be there to welcome the procession. The symbolism of the tradition made them all quite literally members of my family. 


Here is even one of Deepal's aunts who stayed behind to help welcome the procession, Renu Kaki (dressed in blue and pink). And you can see Deepal's best friends: Sudeep and Sachin who also gladly formed part of my family. That really meant a lot to me.

When the procession reached the bottom of the stairs, Renu Kaki told my mother to shout, "potato salad!" to greet the groom and his family. hehehe :) At least that's what it sounded like to my mother...







  

 Here comes Deepal's family, greeted by joyful shouts of "Potato Salad!" : 

Here is Sachin giving Pa one of the necklaces that Ma painstakingly made before the wedding for my mother to give away.   

This is Bob and Pa making a bridge for Ma and my mom to go under. Can't say I know the meaning behind them doing this.

Then apparently my mom gave Bob a tikka. Again not sure about the significance, but tikkas seem to be a general go-to action at any moment in a ceremony.

Bob and Pa, both with tikkas. Probably Ma gave one to Pa. ?? They are the bridge-makers.











Then my mother gave a saree to Ma.. sort of. ;) "Sort of" because Ma actually picked it out and bought it and had someone give it to my mother to give to Ma. hehe.. Another example of how Deepal's family took care of us and all our traditional obligations in the wedding.

Here Deepal's family and friends lovingly and insistently direct my mother in what she's supposed to do to welcome Deepal and accept him as her son-in-law:

Again, I don't know what the significance of this is, but it does look like everyone was having fun while they made my mother and Deepal do it:

Taking it's symbolism from the master leading the bull to the tether the mother-in-law is supposed to lead her new son-in-law into the hall. There are varying opinions of how she should do this. Some say to lead him by the nose:

Others say to lead him by the scarf: The fact that my mother did both is a testament to how everyone tells you what to do at once and they don't always agree with each other. ;)

I guess he did use the sword for something! I thought it was just a fun prop. ...which I still think it mostly was. ;)  He had to touch the garland seven times before entering. hehehe, and my mother was blissfully ignorant of what was going on behind her. They forgot to tell her to stop, so she just kept pulling on him till they remembered to tell her. Why did he have to touch the garland 7x you ask? 

Well, don't ask Deepal he doesn't know either. : P

Wedding Ceremony: Morning Pooja

   The morning of wedding ceremony we had a pooja before the actual wedding ceremony. Pooja just means a religious ceremony or ritual. This particular pooja was a symbolic ritual of preparing us for the marriage ceremony. It is a family-based ritual and typically Deepal and I would celebrate it separately with our own families. My family obviously wouldn't have a clue by ourselves, though, so we celebrated it together. The best way to describe this ritual is good-natured chaos. Everyone crowds around and tells each other what to do, arguing about how and who and what. I don't speak Hindi yet, and neither does my family so we stand or sit around trying to follow what 3 or 4 different people are telling us to do. My mother was a saint, keeping a cheery face and following as best she could. At the beginning of the process Deepal's family chose one person who would be our official translator so it wouldn't be too confusing. But that idea lasted literally about 5 minutes. And then... chaos..  good-natured, of course. ;)

This is the staging area for the pooja and wedding ceremony.

 

And this is the seating area for the guests facing the stage.

Tools of the trade: turmeric and other stuff they use in the pooja. Although I only ever saw them use the turmeric (yellow stuff), the red stuff, and the rice.

So there's a lot of things about the ceremonies that I still don't know or really understand. Sometimes I would ask Deepal during the rituals what different things meant but more often than not he didn't know either. Therefore I suggest you take my account with a grain of salt and remember that it cannot be considered religiously accurate. 

 So here we are all gathered around. Deepal and I are each in front of our own little table with a silver pot. The pot is important somehow, but I don't know how. We never actually touched it or did anything to it that I can remember except after the very end of the wedding when our sisters took the pots home.. to do something with them... yup.

Then, first things first, you gotta put the tikka on:
Mom had Jean do all the tikkas the night before at the Henna Function, and then she was kicking herself because she didn't get any practice for today.  It's not so hard, though, right? Stick some red stuff on your finger, put a dot of it on the forehead, stick some rice to it and then throw the left over rice (already in your hand) over their head. If you don't have any rice left in your hand then pretend to throw some over their head. They'll never know. The rice didn't stick to their head? No problem, it falls off anyway, just tell them it fell off already. :)

Then you gotta give the ceremonial basket of fruit and nuts:

Next comes the turmeric. In the olden days they used to cover the bride in turmeric from head to toe. It works like an antiseptic and it kept the bride from getting sick from all the guests. Nowadays they just do a symbolic bit of turmeric on your feet, hands, and cheeks. And it's important that you brush it upwards on to said feet, hands, and cheeks. ..not sure why, though:

Different women take turns putting the turmeric on the bride. This is Dipti's mother-in-law whom I call Mummy G. She is my second mother in India, and I couldn't ask for a sweeter or more wonderful Mummy. She has actually played the role of my mother in a couple of different ceremonies because my mom couldn't be there, and she really feels like another mother to me. :) 

I am blessed to have so many mothers in my life. Joy was my first second mom, and she's certainly been around long enough to think twice about accepting the title. hehe. I am so happy she came all the way to India to celebrate with me. 

Once everyone took turns putting turmeric on me, then Deepal's family went through the same steps with him. First he got his tikka, and then his mother gave him the ceremonial basket of fruits and nuts:

Next came the turmeric:

Hehe, at some point the red stuff from the tikka got mixed into the turmeric and Deepal looked like he'd been eating some very messy hotdogs with ketchup and mustard. :)

            After they put the turmeric on the both of us they brought some water and kind of washed it off. It doesn't come off easily. I admit I was a little stressed about having to change clothes, wash my face, and re-do my make-up for the wedding ceremony. Especially because it was something of a surprise that I was going to have my cheeks stained yellow. ;) Shortly after taking the following pictures, Deepal and I were off to change as quickly as possible for the next part of the ceremony because we were already running late. Which is normal in India, really. EVERYONE went to change clothes actually. Everyone except my family because getting them into one saree for the day was enough. ;) This morning pooja started about 2 hours late because there was only one woman to dress my mother-in-law, mom, sister, Joy, and me. I'm not sure if she dressed anyone else. She may have. Next up: The Wedding Procession (and then after that the ceremony)



Wedding Portaits

Here are some still portraits from the wedding. Hooray! 

Bob and Joy, Mikolo, Me, Mom, and Jean

In the picture above my mom is wearing a scarf and crown on her head that they put on both mothers as part of the ceremony. I don't actually know what it symbolizes, but they later put them on me and Deepal during the ceremony.

My Mom:

Bob and Joy: My Marriage Encounter Parents :)

I picked out everybody's clothes. They just had to show up and wear 'em. :)

Vidhan (cousin) with Shlok and Rhea (Dipti's kids), and Arisha (Priyanga's child)

Deepal

Deepal

Deepal and his older sister Dipti

Dipti and Deepal

Deepal and his Dad, otherwise referred to as Pa. :)

Ma and Pa, a great example of a loving marriage

Ma and Dipti

Ma and Pa, Dipti and her husband Gaurav, their two kids Rhea and Shlok, my mom, and Deepal and I.

The Doshi family: the very close family of Pa's brothers and their families.

Ma's side of the family. :)

Dipti and her husband Guarav

Guarav, Me, Deepal, and Dipti :)

 
 The Happy Couple: